Tuesday and my patience is already short
Ok - it is only 8:53am and I feel my patience waning...this morning involved another parking/commuting debacle.
See, there are these crazy rules in DC that say that if you have out of state plates you cannot park on a DC street for more than 2 hours. And the fuckers in the DPW actually walk around and input plate numbers all day into their little handheld dealy...and if your plate comes up as being in that ZONE at all during the 24 hour period you get a $30 ticket. After getting two fucking tickets in a matter of a week I have decided to try to beat the system.
So I found this one neighborhood that has two streets full of UNZONED parking, which means there arent those friggin green signs...the whole street is filled with out of staters like me who are sick and tired of paying tickets...
The only catch is that one side of the street has street cleaning on Monday and the other side has street cleaning on Tuesday, which means that there are half as many spots in those times.
So your options are as follows if you are stuck like me -- race home at lunch or right after work on Monday to move your car to the side of the street that has spots for Tuesday, or drive to work. Ick. Generally I get there early enough to beat all the other suckers out to a spot...but last night, nope. I got screwed. I got there at 5:50 pm and there were no spots. I drove around the block for an hour, in vain, hoping someone, anyone, would leave. Nope. So I had to drive my car back to my neighborhood, about 8 blocks south. Parked on my street and decided to check again at 10:00pm. No spots. Fine. I decided I would retry at 7:00am.
So I set my alarm for 7:00am. Wake up one hour early and drag myself outside. Drive up to Guam. No spots. Drive around 3 times and cant find a spot. So I give up and drive to work - in Downtown DC. Nice. If any of you have had the pleasure of driving in DC in rush hour you know the glee that I felt as I got stuck at red light after red light, watching zillions of pedestrians flood the crosswalks each and every time I attempted to take a right turn.
God I love those extra slow pedestrians - they make me smile. Smile as I debate about whether jail time for gently tapping them would be worth the happiness I would surely feel...as I bump them with my bumper to encourage them to walk a little slower. I mean, I know they HAVE to make that phone call at 7:45am, and they simply MUST juggle their extra grande soy latte and muffin from Starbuckkkks and they also MUST carry along not only a briefcase but a gym bag...so of course, they have to walk about 3 times as slow as the normal crippled human being because they simply cant be expected to move quickly at all...what is wrong with me, expecting people to be conscientious of others...especially us other commuters stuck on the corner...HURRY THE FUCK UP LOSER!
Ok - onto my other rant for the day. Men. Specifically one man, who I have been seeing on and off for about 2 months. He is 21. Young. Very young. Still in college. But hot as all fuck.
Basically we get along in all almost all of the important ways - same religion, same crazy ass family, amazing sex, blah blah blah. But his schedule - it is fucking ridiculous. And he still is young and loves the bars. And getting drunk. And his "boys". He doesnt get that when I offer to make him dinner it is a big fucking deal, because I dont cook for anyone other than myself, and that generally only involves a sandwich or pasta...me offering more than that is a sure sign that I actually LIKE him for than the average schmuck...
He also doesnt get how fucking important it is to spend the god damn night with me. He has this habit of leaving at like 3:00am, after a fantastic night of cuddling, sex and movies (not in that order, generally)...because he has to WORK OUT WITH HIS BROTHER AT 5:30AM!!!! I have stressed how leaving me to go work out with his brother is a little fucking loserish. But whatever, he does have a slamming body, so I guess we make sacrifices. But come on buddy - I am hot, I am naked, we are both spent -- spend the fucking night and get some am nookie. Dont just up and leave.
And finally, he is horrible at making god damn plans. The kid has to wait till the last possible second for his plans to come through...and even then he cant really commit to me.
Now I know what you are thinking - that he just isnt that into me. But that isnt it -- he calls like 5 times a day, texts me all the time, whatever....he is just young. Immature. He has had girlfriends for long stretches of time, but at 21 how much experience can he really have? I mean I am like 6 years older and I feel like a relationship idiot...so he cant be much better.
We are on a "break" now, a la Friends...I hate this shit...this dance of dating. I wish there could just be set rules an we all follow them and thats it. Instead we have to do this dance and play games and what not. I hate this fucking shit.
I am going celibate.
See, there are these crazy rules in DC that say that if you have out of state plates you cannot park on a DC street for more than 2 hours. And the fuckers in the DPW actually walk around and input plate numbers all day into their little handheld dealy...and if your plate comes up as being in that ZONE at all during the 24 hour period you get a $30 ticket. After getting two fucking tickets in a matter of a week I have decided to try to beat the system.
So I found this one neighborhood that has two streets full of UNZONED parking, which means there arent those friggin green signs...the whole street is filled with out of staters like me who are sick and tired of paying tickets...
The only catch is that one side of the street has street cleaning on Monday and the other side has street cleaning on Tuesday, which means that there are half as many spots in those times.
So your options are as follows if you are stuck like me -- race home at lunch or right after work on Monday to move your car to the side of the street that has spots for Tuesday, or drive to work. Ick. Generally I get there early enough to beat all the other suckers out to a spot...but last night, nope. I got screwed. I got there at 5:50 pm and there were no spots. I drove around the block for an hour, in vain, hoping someone, anyone, would leave. Nope. So I had to drive my car back to my neighborhood, about 8 blocks south. Parked on my street and decided to check again at 10:00pm. No spots. Fine. I decided I would retry at 7:00am.
So I set my alarm for 7:00am. Wake up one hour early and drag myself outside. Drive up to Guam. No spots. Drive around 3 times and cant find a spot. So I give up and drive to work - in Downtown DC. Nice. If any of you have had the pleasure of driving in DC in rush hour you know the glee that I felt as I got stuck at red light after red light, watching zillions of pedestrians flood the crosswalks each and every time I attempted to take a right turn.
God I love those extra slow pedestrians - they make me smile. Smile as I debate about whether jail time for gently tapping them would be worth the happiness I would surely feel...as I bump them with my bumper to encourage them to walk a little slower. I mean, I know they HAVE to make that phone call at 7:45am, and they simply MUST juggle their extra grande soy latte and muffin from Starbuckkkks and they also MUST carry along not only a briefcase but a gym bag...so of course, they have to walk about 3 times as slow as the normal crippled human being because they simply cant be expected to move quickly at all...what is wrong with me, expecting people to be conscientious of others...especially us other commuters stuck on the corner...HURRY THE FUCK UP LOSER!
Ok - onto my other rant for the day. Men. Specifically one man, who I have been seeing on and off for about 2 months. He is 21. Young. Very young. Still in college. But hot as all fuck.
Basically we get along in all almost all of the important ways - same religion, same crazy ass family, amazing sex, blah blah blah. But his schedule - it is fucking ridiculous. And he still is young and loves the bars. And getting drunk. And his "boys". He doesnt get that when I offer to make him dinner it is a big fucking deal, because I dont cook for anyone other than myself, and that generally only involves a sandwich or pasta...me offering more than that is a sure sign that I actually LIKE him for than the average schmuck...
He also doesnt get how fucking important it is to spend the god damn night with me. He has this habit of leaving at like 3:00am, after a fantastic night of cuddling, sex and movies (not in that order, generally)...because he has to WORK OUT WITH HIS BROTHER AT 5:30AM!!!! I have stressed how leaving me to go work out with his brother is a little fucking loserish. But whatever, he does have a slamming body, so I guess we make sacrifices. But come on buddy - I am hot, I am naked, we are both spent -- spend the fucking night and get some am nookie. Dont just up and leave.
And finally, he is horrible at making god damn plans. The kid has to wait till the last possible second for his plans to come through...and even then he cant really commit to me.
Now I know what you are thinking - that he just isnt that into me. But that isnt it -- he calls like 5 times a day, texts me all the time, whatever....he is just young. Immature. He has had girlfriends for long stretches of time, but at 21 how much experience can he really have? I mean I am like 6 years older and I feel like a relationship idiot...so he cant be much better.
We are on a "break" now, a la Friends...I hate this shit...this dance of dating. I wish there could just be set rules an we all follow them and thats it. Instead we have to do this dance and play games and what not. I hate this fucking shit.
I am going celibate.
posted by sexydcgirl @ Tuesday, August 24, 2004
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